Talk about relative terms! The words “commitment” and “consistency” certainly can be relative based on a multitude of factors. And the opposite of these is “burnout,” which is basically what happens when the fire is gone and quitting becomes an option. How do we give students the level of commitment and consistency they each desire and need while also avoiding burnout? I think one of the ways we do this is to figure out what level of commitment works best for a student and his/her family. There’s a lot of things to consider here.
How much time is required?
Burns Dance Studio offers several options of involvement with various commitment levels. As I write this, our studio is in the middle of choreographing and rehearsing 4 performance teams, each with different commitment requirements. We have a halftime show team, 2 hip hop squads, a musical theater squad and a performing company. These are extra programs we offer for families who want higher levels of commitment to their kids’ activities. All kids get to perform in our May recital, which is the lowest level of commitment we have at the studio.
Commitment is defined by Merriam-Webster as “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.” The question is, what is that “something?” What will kids give their time to, and how much commitment is beneficial for your child?
What’s your goal?
Dance studios across America would love to create successful programs for families and to have as many kids as possible committed to becoming the best dancers possible. Actually, any program–karate, dance, gymnastics, volleyball etc., etc.– would love programs full of committed families and kids, 100% all in. The higher the level of commitment, the higher level of success in most cases. But an intense level of commitment doesn’t work for everyone. For the purpose of helping parents think through what works best for them and their students, I will share levels of commitment I see among families, and you can determine where you fit. I will argue that your child’s level of success in life is directly related to their level of commitment to extracurricular activities during adolescence, so these things are important to consider.
Level A: The “Recreational” Parent
This is the parent that wants their child involved in a sport or activity after school to “keep them busy” or “expose them to teams.” This level is not really concerned with high performance or winning/losing. This parent may have had a bad experience with high intensity activities as a kid and doesn’t want their child exposed to that level of stress and challenge. This parent may have multiple kids, so logistics and commitment expectations prevent them from allowing their students to attend extra practices, performances or events. This parent may also not have the financial resources to allow their child more exposure to that activity. Conversely, this parent may have plenty of time and money, but doesn’t want to commit to a full year or season of activities that would prevent them from their interests or being able to travel.
Level B: The “Competitive” Parent
This is the parent that wants their child involved in a structured, high level activity that allows for some struggle and challenge. They understand it is not “always fun,” and they are seeking next-level coaching and performance for their kid. They may schedule private lessons or coaching throughout the year. They would be selective in which programs they enroll their kids in based on research of coaches, performance results, and financial obligations. They are interested in promoting and helping with team-culture activities and expect their child to have a high level of effort, which they believe will lead to strong work ethic and good habits. It is not uncommon for these parents to have had high levels of performance in their life in sports and school, and based on their experiences, they want to create those traits in their children in a similar way. I would say that many former college athletes are parents in Level B.
Level C: The “All In” Parent
This is the parent that not only exhibits all of the traits a Level B parent does, but is one who also creates year-long schedules and plans for their child’s activities. They may do this for more than one sport or activity. They generally subscribe to a philosophy that says, “if you pour all the resources possible into your kids, you can expect the return on that investment to be high functioning and highly successful children who excel in character, academic achievement and extracurricular activities. Their mindset is that these children turn into equally high functioning and highly successful adults who become great role models and excellent leaders. Actions that stem from this philosophy would be things like having a child attend sports camps, having them attend professional activities in their field of interest, going the extra mile in training via private coaching, or scheduling family vacations and travel around the events of the kids. Parents know that items like time management, high level training, struggle, fatigue, frustration are all part of the process. They may have experienced that as children and parlayed that into successful habits and traits that they want to see in their children. These parents most likely graduated at the top of their class, excelled in college sports, or currently work professionally in high stress/high paying occupations.
Commitment is commitment.
I will submit there is no “wrong” level of commitment to be in as a parent. We all do what we can, and I have seen all three levels in my career as a teacher, school administrator and dance studio owner. As I have gotten older, I can see the positive results each commitment level produces. For example, I have seen parents who were unable to put their kids in activities and required those kids to work in high school. The results were young adults who used the skills or trades they learned as kids to create great opportunities for themselves when they were older. Similarly, I’ve seen some Level C parents create too much stress and anxiety for their children. This resulted in burnout and/or stressful relationships within the families.
Commitment at any level, when it’s done right, teaches kids responsibility, perseverance and the value of hard work. Those qualities, when strengthened over time, result in successful young adults.
“Dance Lessons to Reinforce Life Lessons”
There is a place for everyone here at Burns Dance Studio. As I mentioned earlier, each of our performance teams have varied commitment requirements. Think through what’s important to you, your child, and your family as a whole. What works best for you all? What do you want your child to get out of the time they spend in the dance studio?
We are not here to judge your parenting but to come alongside you and ensure we can be an asset to your family. “Dance lessons to reinforce life lessons” is our goal. You can bet, we’re 100% committed to that mission!
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